The statistics are pretty terrifying.
1 in 5 women experience rape or attempted rape, and over 80% of women are victim to some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetimes (NSVRC). If the #MeToo movement showed us anything, it’s that most of us have faced or will face sexual harassment or assault at some point.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Every woman should have the skills and awareness to keep herself safe. As female entrepreneurs, we often focus on building confidence in our businesses — but building that confidence and self-protection in our bodies is just as important, if not more so.
I can’t teach you all you need to know about self-defense in one blog post, of course. (I created a foundational digital course to do that in a much more significant way).
But I can give you the basic tools you need to know right now — today — to keep yourself safe.
Let’s dive in.
Why am I talking about this?
I took my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class on November 9, 2015 — almost nine years ago at the time of this writing. But my martial arts story started about a year earlier, when I was followed back to my car late at night in a grocery store parking lot. In episode 7 of the Bold Women in Business podcast, I shared the full story of how and why I started martial arts, so go check that out if you’re interested.
Over the past nine years, I’ve studied a wide range of martial arts, all through one primary lens:
Learning to protect myself in a street self-defense situation, and teaching other women how to do the same.
Through in-person classes and my streaming digital course, I’ve now had the opportunity to teach hundreds of women the basic skills they need to keep themselves from harm.
And today, I want to share the most essential skills you need to know to keep yourself safe.
Why do female entrepreneurs need to know self-defense?
I wish we lived in a world where no one needed to know self-defense skills. Sadly, that’s not the case.
The reality is that every woman needs to know how to defend herself — or, at the very least, she should have some basic knowledge of how to keep herself safe and out of harm’s way.
These skills are important for every woman, but in my opinion, especially for female entrepreneurs.
Why? Because there’s a deep sense of confidence that comes from building safety in your body, from knowing that, if you were to face the worst, you’d have the skills you need to increase your chances of survival. And that confidence will carry over into your business.
Plus, depending on the type of business you run and the types of clients you interact with, there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself alone or in potentially dangerous scenarios with male clients or colleagues. And before you say, “My clients or colleagues would never do anything like that!” be aware that 8 out of 10 rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.
These are scary facts to face, but the first step to protecting yourself is to face this reality head-on, so you can empower yourself with the skills necessary to get home safe.
3 essential self-defense skills
My dream would be to spend an entire week with every one of my readers, to teach you the full scope of skills and techniques I think every woman should know.
But, since that’s not possible, I want to give you the 3 most essential things you need to know about self-defense.
1. Situational awareness
It sounds basic and simple, but let’s think about how most of us go through our daily lives, and we’ll see just how not simple this is.
When you go to the grocery store or you’re sitting at a red light, how often are you playing on your phone, or planning dinner in your head, or thinking about an argument you had with a friend?
How about when you’re at home? Are you staying aware enough to be cautious when a stranger knocks on your door, or to keep your guard up when an acquaintance stops by for a drink?
If we’re being honest with ourselves, most of us are distracted or blissfully unaware of what’s going on around us the vast majority of the time.
And that’s okay! The point of this exercise is not to put you on high alert all the time, or to make you feel guilty for being distracted and busy — we all are.
But, what if you could bring a little more awareness to your day-to-day activities?
- What if you could pay a little more attention when you’re getting into your car, or when you’re walking in an unfamiliar neighborhood?
- What if you could pause before opening your front door for a stranger, to ask yourself if this is a good idea or not?
- What if you could listen to that feeling in your gut telling you something is wrong when a man is approaching you?
You’re not going to suddenly become an enlightened, fully-aware-at-all-times beacon of mindfulness. I bet you can take some baby steps to improve your awareness in your daily life, and most importantly, to pay attention when your gut is telling you something is wrong.
Situational awareness is the most important skill to help you avoid bad situations altogether. Cultivate it.
2. Get to safety
The goal in any self-defense situation is not to fight back as hard as you can — unless the situation calls for that. No, your number one goal must be to get yourself to safety.
Even if you do have to engage with an attacker, keep that refrain going through your head:
I have to get away. I have to get myself to safety. Where are my possible escape routes?
A lot of people ask me if I’ve ever had to use my self-defense skills in a real life situation. The answer is I’ve never had to physically put my hands on someone to neutralize a threat, but what I have done is gotten myself to safety when I found myself in a potentially dangerous situation. (Another plug for listening to episode 7 of my podcast, where I tell a recent story that happened to me).
The minute the vibes are off — as the kids say — pay attention to that and get yourself to safety.
Could your gut be wrong? Of course. But the worst thing that happens in that case is you left wherever you were earlier than you needed or planned to. If your gut is right, you just got yourself out of a potentially dangerous situation.
3. Protect your head
Sometimes, you’re just not paying attention. Or, your gut doesn’t alert you in time that something is wrong. Or, you get caught off guard. Or, you’re in an enclosed space where you can’t get yourself to safety so easily.
Any number of things can happen that cause a situation to escalate. You may find yourself face to face with an attacker, with nowhere to run.
There are countless techniques you could learn (and many you absolutely should learn if you can), but if I leave you with one piece of advice, it’s this:
PROTECT. YOUR. HEAD.
If you get hit in the head, all bets are off. Your skull is protecting the computer that keeps your body functioning. Protect that computer at all costs.
In my self-defense course, I teach a technique called the helmet, where you basically create a protective cushion around your head using your arms. You don’t need any fancy technique to do this, though. Just think about covering your ears and the front of your head, while leaving enough of an opening to let yourself see what’s going on around you.
Learn this technique and a whole lot more with my foundational women’s self-defense course, Fearless Femmes. In honor of my birthday month, we’re having a flash sale until October 31. Enter coupon ‘birthday’ to get 20% off: